I don't like this thread. It implies that if you aren't a slavish worker, with impervious metal discipline, you are /worthless/.
It's really hard binary thinking, which I guess is what I expect from here. You guys are implying that I am worthless. Completely worthless. That the OP is worthless. And so, what now? Shall we all just jump off a cliff then?
I don't think so.
maybe there is more to life than being the hardest worker.
Maybe it is okay to have an internal mental life that is rich and varied.
AND MAYBE FRETTING ABOUT NOT GETTING STUFF DONE IS JUST GOING TO MAKE YOUR PROCRASTINATION THINGS WORSE.
That's the trick. It's the mental chinese finger trap. You have to really truly accept who you are and what you limits are, what you can accomplish, and stop worrying so much about it. It is only once you have done this that you can let yourself get things done. It is only once you can accept that it is okay to not get things done, that you stop fearing the failure, and getting started doesn't feel like such a chore.
Failure is okay.
It is okay for other people to think you are worthless.
Just don't pay attention to it, stay in the now, put one foot in front of the other, trudge on and on and on, you'll find your pace, you'll find how to keep going, you'll get through the mental blocks. and you may never be as "good" as /those other people/. And that's okay.
You're projecting. The OP does not merely desire to work harder at his job, but at better using his gifts to help change the world and better himself in non-professional ways. I agree he's too young to be fretting about this like a mid-life crisis...but nothing wrong with desiring to move faster while young. It takes some foresight to realize that it's easier to change bad habits (and learn new good ones) at a young age rather than pushing it off for later.
This is my biggest fear. Having the same problems now at 40. I look at my dad and as much as I swore I'd never let myself have his same work ethic (push hard, than go at 1/4 pace for 90% of the time).
Reality is that I'm worse than I've ever seen him right now. I can go for a few days without doing a single git commit. I have a team under me that makes it look to my superiors as if shit is getting done. And when I need to I can pound out really really good code and save the day.
A therapist can be a great help. There's lots of other things that can help. You'll get a lot of advice in this thread. Just to throw this out there, in case nobody has mentioned it, I cannot emphasise enough the importance of sleep for mental health, anxiety, and procrastination. You can do a lot of stuff, and mostly it will be ineffective unless you have the solid 8 hours every day as your foundation.
And, so? He wants to be better, but damn this whole being an imperfect human thing! Nothing wrong with wanting to be a robot, or an alien while you're young.
It's really hard binary thinking, which I guess is what I expect from here. You guys are implying that I am worthless. Completely worthless. That the OP is worthless. And so, what now? Shall we all just jump off a cliff then?
I don't think so.
maybe there is more to life than being the hardest worker. Maybe it is okay to have an internal mental life that is rich and varied.
AND MAYBE FRETTING ABOUT NOT GETTING STUFF DONE IS JUST GOING TO MAKE YOUR PROCRASTINATION THINGS WORSE.
That's the trick. It's the mental chinese finger trap. You have to really truly accept who you are and what you limits are, what you can accomplish, and stop worrying so much about it. It is only once you have done this that you can let yourself get things done. It is only once you can accept that it is okay to not get things done, that you stop fearing the failure, and getting started doesn't feel like such a chore.
Failure is okay.
It is okay for other people to think you are worthless.
Just don't pay attention to it, stay in the now, put one foot in front of the other, trudge on and on and on, you'll find your pace, you'll find how to keep going, you'll get through the mental blocks. and you may never be as "good" as /those other people/. And that's okay.